First off I wanted to fill you in on how the reading buddy day went. Cade was adorable and cracked himself up with the books he was reading. It was hilarious to hear him laughing (he has the cutest little laugh) and then look over to see him pointing to something to Sam and explaining what he is laughing at. So cute. He read three books which was about about one book too many. Sam got a little restless with his second grade slow reading pace. But overall it was a huge success.
Now on to my dilemma...should I go to my high school ten year reunion. Yes, I am that old which means yes mom you are that old. So should I go?
I have always thought that of course I would go, who wouldn't want to go. But now that I am old, disconnected from anyone that I went to high school with and don't even live in that town my desire to go has drastically lessened. Not only has it lessened, but the idea of going makes me very anxious. They sent out the schedule for the three days of reunion functions and my first thought was "holy crap that is a lot of new, hip, in style clothes I have to go out and buy". Other thoughts that have crossed my mind include, "I have to really start running again", "gotta get some really cute outfits for the girls to wear to the family-friendly functions", "probably need to get some boots and skinny jeans", etc. Skinny jeans? I hate those. Why would going back to high school suddenly make me think I need to go out and buy something I would never wear again?
I hate that feeling that I am getting of "are they talking about me", "do I look okay", "will they like me", "am I cool enough". The schedule has only been out for two days and I already feel like I am going to have a nervous break down. There is only a tiny little part of me that is excited to see the girls that I spent 12 years of my life with everyday. Not that I don't want to see them, of course it would be fun to catch up but most of them are still single, no kids, big nights out, and lots of traveling kind of lives. My life just seems so boring when I look at what they are doing (thank you facebook for making me feel so inferior!).
So why am I so self-concious? Why do I STILL care what all those people at that school think of me? I am an adult now with two girls of my own. What kind of role model am I being by having these kind of shallow thoughts and feelings?
Did anyone else feel this way about their reunion? Did you go or not?
Oh how I wish I could just GROW THE HELL UP and not care.
8 comments:
I feel the exact same way you are feeling. I have a select few girls I still speak to from high school and when I want to see them we meet for a cocktail or a 2 hour lunch at Olga's. I have no desire to see anyone else who potentially was fake to me in high school (this is also known as "why I decided to book my trip to Key West after Thanksgiving"). Yep, that's right, they planned it for the Friday after Thanksgiving at a bar - nothing else! So, (1) it is convenient for the planner who is traveling from Chicago and (2) everyone from her click is still single and loves to go out and party. None-the-less, that night, while everyone else is there, I will still wonder if they are asking about me, what others say about me and wondering if I should have gone and tried to remember the names of all of my fellow classmates (all 700+ of them).
I know you can't help to care what others think, but you have a wonderful life and two beautiful girls! Love ya! ~Tracy
I didn't go to mine. And I don't regret it. That being said, I transferred to my high school halfway through my sophomore year, so I didn't have a HUGE group of friends. Oddly enough, I talk to a lot more people from h.s. thanks to Facebook now. So I MIGHT consider going to the next one.
I didn't go to mine. I had the exact same thoughts you did, followed by the same anxiety, but mine was two years ago...pre marriage and pre Ella. Ours was only for one night at a bar, so there wasn't much to get excited about. Brandon didn't go to his either, but I was also 39 weeks pregnant (they planned it for Thanksgiving weekend), though he wasn't too excited to go anyways. We both keep in touch with the people we want to from highschool, so it wasn't too much of a loss. Good luck making the decision! :)
I didn't go to my 10 year either. Mostly because I was 8 months pregnant with Bryce and wouldn't you know I had him only about 5 days after the reunion. Anyway, I totally understand everything you wrote. There is something about being around people that knew you when you were younger that brings up lots of old insecurities (at least it does me). I have a few friends that I still keep in contact with and really I'm fine with that. If you go just remember you are a beautiful, successful mother of 2 who is doing what she loves. You have nothing to prove to anyone, have fun and don't take it too seriously, I can gaurantee that every other person attending (at least the women) are probably feeling the same way. You are amazing!
oh and one other thought...while you think your life is boring, I'm willing to bet that those single friends will be envious of the life you have...a great husband and two beautiful girls. :)
I didn't go to my 10 year reunion. I is as if you took the exact thoughts from my head and posted them on your blog. Totally. That being said, two years later I sort of regret it. Only because I missed the chance to reconnect with some people I'd have liked to. BUT I have done that through the magic of Facebook so maybe it isn't such a bad thing. I saved myself the $70 ticket and the stress of buying a new, trendy, wardrobe! (I too hate the skinny jean!)
Maureen
Hey-
I feel the exact same way! I'm in STL and feel like I see the people I want to see, why pay the money for the weekend (a weekend that is going to be insane anyway!) We actually have a group talking about meeting somewhere friday night then going as a group. I think the group idea is kinda making it less scary than going alone. Hey and i'm one of those single girls, and I'm very jealous of you and the life you have made for yourself. So think of it in a way that people are also very jealous of your life!
Let me know if you want to join in on the group thing and I can let you know where we are meeting!
Wait until your 25th. By then, you won't give a damn. You will have the world by the tail!!!
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