I cook. Not perfectly beautiful meals that have all the food groups every time but they are still meals that require planning and effort. More times than not my children look at the food I have so lovingly put on their plate and they turn up their noses and say "I don't like that" or some other ridiculous statement. Which I know is ridiculous because most of the time they have eaten this same meal and gobbled it down with no problem. Or it is a meal full of ingredients that I know they like and there is no reason for them to not like them now.
But instead getting them to eat just one bite is a fight. We have to feed them, bribe them, scowled them and force them into eating. Dinner time is stressful and ruined.
What is a mom to do? How do moms overcome this? I would love to know how other parents get their kids to eat new foods. What rules do you have for dinner time? How do you deal with mean statements that your kids say about the food you have prepared?
We have a "No thank you bite" rule that I think I got from my sister (sorry if I am mis-remembering and not given credit to the right mom!), which basically means that my kids have to have one bite of everything that is put on their plate. Then once they have tried something if they still don't like it they don't have to finish it. But I NEVER make them something else.
I really like this rule and it seems to work out okay but even just getting them to eat that one bite can be torture sometimes. I often wonder if it is really worth it. And how do I teach them to appreciate the fact that I cook for them at all.
I was horrible to my mom growing up and would often look at the amazing food she had prepared and literally say "yuck do I have to eat that?". I was mean and I know it hurt my mom's feelings. But how do you teach kids early to not have those kinds of thoughts in the first place? I have no idea how my mom heard those statements on a regular basis and continued to turn around and cook more great meals for us.
4 comments:
peyton doesn't eat anything at dinner time. i mean nothing (well you have seen that). I use to make her something else once i fought her hard enough that i gave up. After talking with our doctor about it she told me that they have to sit at the table till we are done eating (at least) if they don't what to eat what i make them they don't have to but if they want to eat anything else that night dinner (what i put in front of them the first time) has to be gone first....It doesn't work all the time and then peyton goes to bed with no dinner but most night i let both kids have a treat (fruit) before bed and when taylor gets hers because she ate then peyton gets said and most of the time will go back to her plate and eat. I have modified it a bit....as long as she has a couple good bites i don't make her finish is (maybe shes just not hungry)
well that's what we do at dinner time to introduce new foods, or old foods in a new way!
Oh man this is hard! Ella was picky...but hers seemed due to sensory issues...she has an incredibly strong sense of smell and it was hard for her to get over that. We actually did some OT food therapy with her along with her speech therapy when she was about 4. Their motto was "food is fun" and never "make" them eat anything. UGH! It was hard. But now, she is a really good eater so it worked. Lily is EXTREMELY picky. And pretty much only eats anything that is remotely sweet--it may be healthy, but it's sweet. ie: yogurt, dried fruit, carbs like crackers. She will eat pizza, chicken nuggets, cheesy potatoes and hot dogs as well. Hmm...that's about her whole repertoire. Well, she has three cavities right now to show for it. Kellan used to eat everything under the sun and now he's getting to be very picky as well.
I can understand your frustration. I do not like cooking to begin with. And then to spend my time meal planning, shopping and cooking only to have it pooh-poohed. It's sooo annoying!
We basically say, "If you don't eat now, there's always breakfast in the morning." I do not fix them something different. We try to get them to try a bite of something new, but we know from experience that Lily can be extremely stubborn and sit at the table for hours before taking the bite. So, we don't force it too much. I try to remember the "food is fun" motto as much as I can. But, honestly, I think this is a very common thing and I'm not sure anyone has a fool proof way of dealing with it. I also serve one thing on their plate at every meal that I KNOW they will eat. Even if it's just a go-gurt or something like that.
After yrs of having 3 excellent eaters my kids are becoming more and more picky as time goes on. I remember the days where they would eat whatever I made them with no questions asked and now that is not the case. I used to make other things if it was a meal I knew they didn't like but that doesn't happen anymore. My downfall is I usually only make the things that I know my kids will eat and there is many things they do but it's very hard to get them to try new things. One thing we also do is if the meal isn't eaten then they don't get any snacks and don't eat unitl the next meal and if it's dinner and they don't eat they can only have fresh fruit at bedtime or they wait until morning. There have been many days that the kids only eat breakfast and lunch and fruit at bedtime and that's it. I went to a talk one time and a Dr that was speaking there said, "No child has died because he/she didn't eat the dinner they were offered and had to wait until breakfast to eat again." This stuck with me. I have decided to offer them fruit but that is it and if they eat their dinner they get a "real" snack as they call it which is their choice in food. I always keep their plate of uneaten food available to them if they want to finish and redeem themselves but if it gets to close to the next meal I make them wait to eat. Madison doesn't do meals and never has. She prefers to eat many small meals throughout the day and doesn't like to sit down to one big meal other than breakfast which I make sure is a good meal. It is usually hit and miss the rest of the day, usually miss. It used to bother me but now I have adapted to her eating and have worked what she needs into her "snacks" vs her meals. It is all by trial and error and each of my 3 children are so different even with their eating patterns which makes life more challenging. I look forward to hearing about what other moms do that works for them.
Thanks so much for the comments ladies! It sounds like nobody is a making a special second meal to accommodate the non-eaters, which is great. I was really hoping that wasn't the norm! I like the idea of offering fruit before bed. And I like the statement "if you don't eat now there is always breakfast in the morning!" So true that a child won't die from not eating breakfast. I feel like I am being such a bad mom if they don't have a full stomach before they go to bed, but probably if they were really all that hungry they would have eaten what was on their plate to begin with!
Thanks for helping me think this through and sharing your own experiences.
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