I didn't want to forget

A few hours after Avery was born her and Chris were both sleeping but I was so hyped up with adrenaline still that I couldn't sleep. I grabbed a piece of paper and pencil and started writing down memories from the labor and my emotions at the time that I didn't want to forget. I knew that in just a few days the emotions, moments and pain from the delivery would all start to fade away so I wanted to write some stuff down.

I was working on Avery's baby book today and found that piece of paper. Thought I would share the random thoughts that were in my head just a few hours after Avery's birth.

~ Avery was so purple when she first came out it really scared me.

~ My hands went almost completely numb during labor. They cramped up in weird positions and I couldn't move my fingers. I kept looking at them and for some reason they reminded me of my Great Aunt Daisy's hands in her last days. I kept looking at my mom, Chris and my sister saying "my hands! my hands!". The numbness and cramping in my hands really scared me but everyone just kept assuring me that as soon as Avery was out it would go away.

~ The Orange Bowl was on the TV all during my pre-labor; Iowa v. Georgia Tech. At some point during labor the TV was turned off. I didn't put up a fuss about it but as soon as Avery was born I noticed and asked Chris about the score.

~Because of the paperwork being lost the epidural was going to be administered very late. After the doctor checked me and realized I only had about 1.5cm left of dilation to go, he kind of whispered in my ear "You can do this. You are strong. You can finish this with nothing." He sounded so confident in me and so calm about it that it really made me feel like maybe I could do it natural.

~THE SMELL! I was convinced during labor that one of the nurses had REALLY bad breath. When I laughingly told Chris about it after the fact he smiled and said, "I think that was you!".

~ I was very hesitant about having my mom, dad and sister see me go through something this huge. I didn't want them to see me in pain and struggling. But having them here encouraging me, talking to me, supporting me and distracting me was really the biggest blessing. I feel overwhelmed with love that they dropped their lives at a moments notice and drove so fast to be here for me.

~ Chris was my rock. His confidence in me never waivered and I am feeling overwhelmed with love for him because of what he has just helped me to get through.